In Latin America (as in many other regions), men are not taught or allowed to talk about what they feel. And that has consequences.

As part of the Global Boyhood Initiative, Equimundo and Chakakuna have been exploring how families across the region experience and talk about emotions. Through conversations with fathers, mothers and children in Peru, Bolivia, Colombia, Paraguay and Mexico, we found a clear pattern: parents want their children to develop social-emotional skills, but they themselves do not know where to start.

What we see is not new. But hearing it up close, in the words of parents, children and families, makes clear what is at stake.

What we learned:

• Men who grew up in silence: fathers without emotional guidance

Many fathers we spoke with put it bluntly: they don’t know how to express what they feel, let alone how to help their sons do so.

“I don’t even know how to express my emotions…how am I going to teach my child to manage them?” –Eduardo, Bolivian father of a 5-year-old boy.

This reinforces a cycle where children’s emotions are ignored, left in the background or are only addressed by mothers, creating a gap in care work, in the relationship and closeness between fathers and their children as well as a lack of healthy role models for young boys.

• For many, being brave still means putting up with it.

Bravery is still often seen as not showing weakness, pushing through challenges in silence, never asking for help, and facing problems alone. While some fathers are challenging these ideas, the traditional notion of a “brave” and “self sufficient” masculinity remains deeply ingrained in what fathers think that it is expected of them and their male identity as well as the type of fatherhood that they practice.

“I tell him not to show weakness, not to cry in front of others.” –Erick, Colombian father of a 12-year-old boy.

When children grow up with this belief, they learn that expressing fear or sadness makes them weak, leading them to suppress their emotions instead of processing them in a healthy way. Over time, this can result in frustration, anxiety, or emotional outbursts when tension becomes unbearable, without them knowing how to express these emotions and seek support. Instead of learning to manage their emotions, they become trapped in a model that forces them to hide them.

• Silence and judgement does not protect. It leaves children without words when they need help most.

If boys are taught that to be a man is to put up, shut up and not ask for help, how are they going to speak up when they really need to? Our research found that bullying and abuse are some of the hardest topics for boys to talk about, and this is no coincidence. Growing up in an environment where there are few opportunities to talk about their lives, experiences and emotions without being judged, leaves boys without the tools to name the issues they’re facing, deal with them in a healthy way (individually and with others), or ask for support when they face serious challenges like violence, bullying, or abuse.

“He doesn’t know how to report a violent situation. I have to ask him about three times for him to tell me.” –Bruno, Peruvian parent of an 8-year-old boy.

The real problem isn’t that children experience difficult situations or feel fear, sadness, or insecurity, but that they grow up believing they must hide those emotions ‘because they are boys’. And when the problem becomes too big, when they need to talk to someone or seek help, they don’t have the language, opportunities or trust to do so with their parents.

So what can we do?

We can keep repeating that men “must change,” but we can also create environments and tools that help them do so – as fathers and as children.

Our research leaves us with key learnings:

• Fathers and boys need more than advice: they need role models. They can’t model what they’ve never learned. If they didn’t see healthy behaviors modeled at home, it becomes more difficult to practice those behaviors today. It is crucial to socialize and normalize male role models for fathers to follow that exemplify an understanding and caring father-child relationship.
• To talk about emotions with children, fathers (and mothers) need accessible and practical resources. They need tools that allow them to reflect on their own emotional world and then support them, share their emotional world with their children, and explore and learn about theirs, replacing judgement with curiosity. 
• Conversations between fathers and their children should feel natural and be free from harmful gender stereotypes, especially related to masculinity.  If a question sounds like a test, interrogation or comparison to masculine social norms, the opportunity for real, open dialogue is lost.

The meaning of ‘being a father’ should be related to care, understanding and friendship, which we can all promote as a society through our interactions, how we raise boys and the everyday conversations that we have.

The challenge is clear: if we want more men in Latin America to live their emotions differently, to live happier, fuller lives and violence free relationships, we must ensure that they have the tools to do so.

At the Global Boyhood Initiative, we have created “Share with me/Comparte conmigo”, a tool to help adults start conversations with their children around the following 5 themes: 

1. Expressing what I feel
2. Building healthy relationships
3. Supporting others
4. Learning together 
5. Sharing my online life

Each card, its content and design, was developed based on Equimundo global evidence on the state of boyhood and the social pressures that they face. They were refined and improved through three cycles of iterative testing with families and boys in the region, to ensure that they are useful and effective. 

You can access the digital and printable version of the cards here: for 4-6 years, 7-9 years and for 10-13 years.

We are continuously trying to improve these resources, and we invite you to leave us your feedback here. 

Additionally, you can check out other practical resources to help parents, teachers, and caregivers support boys in their emotional development. We offer interactive guides and up-to-date studies on masculinities, providing evidence-based strategies to promote a more empathetic and stereotype-free upbringing.